Crazy Ellis
by SamanthaRose
Summary: Nick couldn't possibly be the only one to see it... Ellis wasn't the adorable kid that Rochelle saw. Ellis was crazy. NickxEllis one shot! Rated for Nick's mouth


Author's Note!!

Alright, this was a story written for my beloved best friend! She requested that we start spreading the word around the internet that we don't think Ellis is as cute and innocent as others think he is. In fact, we're convinced the boy is very deeply disturbed!!

Hope y'all enjoy!

...

...

...

Nick had a code. As a gambling man, a conman and as a man who liked to get the job done quickly, cleanly, and quietly, Nick stuck to this code rather vehemently, and there was no end to the frustration he felt being shackled to a group of strangers just to survive.

This wasn't a field trip, it wasn't a vacation… it was the goddamned Zombie apocalypse. He had guns, sure, and he knew how to use them and use them well. He was wearing his best suit, he was pretty sure he knew his way around despite military barricades, roads being blown apart and infected at every turn, but he couldn't make it all on his own now that the zombies were changing.

They weren't your garden variety zombies anymore. Puking bile that attracted more zombies, wrapping people up with their tongues and dragging them off, wandering about weeping before proceeding to tear people's faces off for looking at them funny, leaping on people's heads and riding them straight into fire, off cliffs, into the path of other zombies or worse…

Yeah, nothing garden variety about it.

Luckily enough, the party he ran with were pretty good at dealing with threats and watching each others backs. If a Jockey leapt on someone, one of the others would shoot it off before it could get the person far. If a Hunter pounced on someone, one of the others would punch it in the face, etc, etc.

Coach was a respectable, God fearing man that was once a high school football coach, wandering around wearing a sweat stained shirt emblazoned with the letters of the school and wielding an axe like it was an extension of himself.

Nick liked Coach, probably more than any of the others. Coach seemed to have his priorities straight and his head on his shoulders, and while he was a bit preoccupied thinking about his next meal and a little slower than Nick would have liked, he was a good person who didn't mind giving orders.

If they had to have a leader, Nick sure as hell didn't want to be it. So he left the leadership in Coach's capable hands.

Rochelle was their sole female member, and she could seriously kick some ass. Maybe it had something to do with her being a reporter, the overeager kind that would do ANYTHING to get a good story, including punching zombie faces in and shooting a gun with accuracy that usually took years to master. She was a good looking girl…

But because of her vapid, mothering nature when it came to the fourth member of their team, Nick counted her off as little more than annoying and gullible.

The fourth member… ah yes.

Ellis.

Ellis was… well… he was…

"AW MAN, GUYS! KIDDIE LAND!!"

As Rochelle giggled, Ellis charged over to one of the sandbox toys and climbed on, grinning like a maniac, and Nick put his face in his hands briefly.

"He's like a five year old." He groaned. "With guns… and a comprehension of ever swear word in the English language."

Ellis was insane.

"Aw, don't be like that. He's just having fun." Rochelle said, the slight flush of her cheeks and the way she grinned in Ellis' direction proving to Nick once again that she was under the young mechanic's spell.

Ellis had somehow convinced Rochelle that he was some sort of adorable, back country, simple, innocent teddy bear, but due to the brief glimpses he had given them of a far more intelligent side, not to mention the increasingly dark tales he told of his friend Keith who either had to be made up or the unluckiest bastard alive (was he even still alive?), Nick knew otherwise.

Ellis was just insane. He wasn't cute, or innocent, no matter what those hazel puppy dog eyes tried to tell him or the school boy grin or…

Nick shook his head to clear it and brushed Rochelle off, following along behind her and Coach as Ellis bailed head first off the sand toy and scrambled to his feet.

"C'mon Coach!! Let's ride the rollercoaster!! Just once?" Ellis begged as he skipped along behind the older male, Nick taking up the rear and watching their backs.

"Boy, you ain't right in the head." Coach muttered, shaking his head in Ellis' direction.

"You won't hear any arguments from me." Nick murmured softly in agreement, firing at a lingering common that wandered into his field of vision.

He had seen so many sides of Ellis that he couldn't help but agree. There was the Ellis that had been dragged off, beaten up and chomped on by every infected possible but still came out of it smiling and joking. There was the Ellis that had waded into the thick of things with a chain saw while screaming "DIE! DIE MY DARLINGS! DIE DIE DIE!!!" There was the Ellis that tossed and turned and cried (not manly tears) at night while they were sleeping, prompting Nick to rethink his position on never, EVER serving watch with the kid.

It often made Nick wonder if something terrible had happened to Ellis in the past, some sort of accident that caused head trauma, or some sort of molestation that left mental scars bad enough to make Ellis go nuts. Maybe it was just the apocalypse… some days, Nick felt a little nuts himself, but those were the days he reminded himself the infected weren't actually zombies and weren't actually dead.

Sick people.

They were running around killing sick people.

They were running around, killing sick people and all Ellis wanted to do was go on the fucking roller coaster!

Nick felt like tearing out his hair. Instead, he blocked the mechanic's babbling out and focused on finding and killing the infected nearby that must have been wearing clown shoes. He could hear that stupid little squeak and it was starting to drive him just as nuts as the Keith stories.

"Down there." Coach said, drawing Nick's attention to the opening of the Tunnel of Love that lay before them.

"You're kidding me." Nick muttered under his breath, straightening and moving towards it with the others. "Alright… I think this is a bad idea. Does anyone else think this is a bad idea?"

"It's the only way we can get past the damn fences." Coach rubbed his hand over his bald head. "I sure as hell ain't climbing no fences, son."

"I suppose you're right, but how is going into a small, cramped tunnel that may or may not be TOTALLY blocked any better than climbing fences? Oh, and did I mention that it'll probably be SWARMING with infected down there?" Sometimes, Nick found things escaping him before he could stop them from doing so. He talked out of his ass when he was nervous…

Going into the Tunnel of Love with zombies and a crazy person wasn't exactly his idea of a good time.

"C'mon, Nick! Where's your sense of adventure?" Rochelle laughed. "We've got this far together, why not push a little farther?"

"This one time, my buddy Keith drowned in the Tunnel of Love. I know the water's real shallow, but that's how it-" Ellis was saying up ahead with Coach, something inside Nick finally snapping.

"Oh, for the love of God Ellis, just shut up! Shut the fuck up already!! I have had ENOUGH of your stories about your fucking imaginary … 'friend' Keith! Just shut up shut up shut up!!" The conman howled, balling his hands up into fists.

"Hey hey hey! None of that!" Rochelle protested. "Leave Ellis alone, his stories are harmless!"

"If his 'friend' were actually REAL, he might have a few things to say about that!" Nick shouted back at her. "And you, I can't believe you actually buy into all of this stupid… 'I'm so cute and innocent, look at me and my nifty tattoos and my funny stories, aren't I cute, haha' bullshit!!"

"Nick, that's enough." Coach said calmly, stepping back towards him. Nick spread his hands and looked at Coach and Rochelle in a pleading manner.

"Don't you guys see it? Don't you see it?! Ellis is INSANE!! He's… he's taken leave of his senses, he's gone off the deep end, he's a few fries short of a Happy Meal. He's BUGNUTS!! INSANE!" Nick stopped shouting, standing there and panting for breath as the clown shoes continued squeaking somewhere behind him. "And will someone… please… find that clown and kill it before… I start going nuts too?"

"Think it's a little late for that, honey." Rochelle said gently, giving him a frightened look. "You sure it's not you you're screaming about being crazy?"

"All of you, come on! We can't stand around like a bunch of lumps! The safe room is just up there, we'll continue our discussion once we're safe." Coach demanded, taking Rochelle's arm and leading her away from the swiftly deflating Nick.

Nick looked up to meet Ellis' gaze, the mechanic staring over at Nick in amazement, his mouth hanging open slightly and hazel eyes wide.

"You heard the man, get moving." Nick growled, Ellis refusing to move from where he was standing. "What's your problem?"

"I don't believe it." Ellis breathed, Nick raising an eyebrow at him.

"Don't believe that someone actually saw through your disguise?" He asked, Ellis letting out a laugh and slapping his hand on his leg.

"You're jealous!!" The younger man shouted, Nick gaping at him in confusion. "You're jealous of Keith!!"

"Anyone who could POSSIBLY be jealous of Keith is certifiably insane and needs to be locked up. Much like you. Now get your ass into the-"

"Keith is real." Ellis said quickly, still grinning. "Maybe stuff I made up about him isn't really real, but he's real alright!"

"And did he touch you in bad ways when you were kids? Is that why you're so fucked up?" Nick was beginning to feel… what? Exasperated? Annoyed more than normal?

Scared?

"Hell naw! Keith would never do nothin' like that to me. Not to me!" Ellis let out a shrill giggle. "Aw man."

"Wherever in your addled little brain did you EVER come up with the theory that I am jealous of your 'friend' Keith, Ellis?" Nick asked quietly. The urge to punch Ellis in the face was getting stronger with each passing second.

"Cause you're the only one who ever realized he was my," Ellis lifted his hands and made quotation marks in the air, "'friend,' Nick. Which means… you wanna be my 'friend' too. Right?"

Nick stared at Ellis for a long moment in silence, his expression unreadable, then his face screwed up and he shook his head.

"What?!" He asked in a high pitched voice, wondering if he was going to need to use his gun instead of his fist.

"C'mon." Ellis elbowed him playfully, grinning. "You wanna be my friend?"

"No!" Nick shouted. "No, good God no! Why would I ever want to do that?!"

"Cause you're gettin' all bent outta shape! Cause I talk about Keith too much."

"Didn't I just get done telling everyone how insane you are?! Not funny, haha insane, insane as in YOU SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME INSANE!" Nick bellowed, his voice once again echoing down the tunnel.

"Quit yer bellyachin', Nick." Ellis said in a quieter tone, leaning closer. "I ain't gonna tell nobody."

"Okay, you know what? I wasn't going to, but I think I changed my mind. I'm going to beat your cute little face in till even your mother would call you ugly!!" Nick growled, reaching out to grab hold of Ellis' shirt.

Things then got… confusing.

Confusing was a good word.

One moment, he had his fist stretched back to pound the shit eating grin right off of Ellis' face, the next…

Wait, what HAD happened just then?

In fact, what was happening now? And just how HAD it happened in the first place?

The first observation that came into Nick's mind was the fact that Ellis was very warm, but that was unsurprising. It was really God damned hot here, after all.

The second was the fact that no matter how many zombies they killed, no matter how many battles they fought or how many bodies they came across, you never really became accustomed to the smell. Ellis smelled really, REALLY bad, but then again, they all did, didn't they?

A panicked moment found Nick wondering 'wait… do I smell that bad? I mean, sure, my suit looks like hell, but do I seriously smell like I've been bathing in Boomer puke?'

The third observation he had… well, he started wondering just how long it had been since Ellis had a chance to brush his teeth. He tasted terrible…

'So why aren't I stopping?' Nick asked himself as Ellis' hand snaked up to the back of his neck. Nick's fingers tightened briefly on the front of Ellis' shirt, then fell away, his hand coming to rest on the younger male's hip briefly.

'Rochelle is right. I'm the crazy one.'

Nick wasn't entirely sure how long the kiss lasted (too long, in his opinion despite no effort to stop it,) but in the end it was Ellis who pulled away first, biting his lip and letting out a soft laugh.

"See? You DO wanna be my friend." He drawled, Nick seemingly unable to muster the effort to growl in the other man's direction. He pulled his hand away from Ellis' hip like it had been burned, gripping both hands into fists, and Ellis gave him another one of those grins. "By the way, you taste like this one time Keith dared me to lick an ashtray, and I did."

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" Nick burst out, causing Ellis to flinch backwards. "Do you EVER shut up?!"

"Well, you sure just shut me up good, didn't you?" The younger male asked as his grin turned a little more wicked, almost playful, and Nick mashed his hands in his own hair and screamed. He turned blazing eyes to Ellis and balled his hands even more tightly into fists, looking very much like he was actually going to follow through with his previous threats, but after a moment, he deflated again and let his hands drop to his sides.

"You taste like ass, you smell even worse and you haven't done a SINGLE THING to change my mind about you being just… crazy. Crazy and insane and oh GOD I hate you more than I can even begin to describe right now." Nick finally said, Ellis nodding in a matter of fact manner at him.

"That's right, man, just get it all out." He said, Nick staring at him with a murderous expression.

"If I didn't need you to survive out here, Ellis… I would shoot you. Right now." He said quietly, Ellis grinning once more.

"Sure, man. Sure. So, how 'bout it? Wanna be my friend?"

"Fuck that." Nick growled, turning away from Ellis and stalking towards the safe room. Coach and Rochelle were standing just inside the door, Coach with an expression on his face that suggested he very much would like to forget the last half hour or so and Rochelle trying to hide a smile. "Just… fuck all of you. I hope you all die and rot in zombie hell."

"Get some sleep, son." Coach said, shaking his head. "You're gonna need it."


End file.
